Spending time with your children is more important than spending money on them
This morning when I picked the newspaper all I saw were numerous advertisement for Black Friday deals. So many deals on toys on kids clothes. Then I went to do some window shopping and noticed how cleverly all shops have things to attract kids not only in kids sections but also all over the shops.
With a blink of an eye, my daughter turned eight this week. My daughter was born on Black Friday. I still tell her that she is the best deal I could have ever got.
Now eight years have passed, and she has turned up in a young kid who loves to go shopping with me. In these eight years, my life has changed for good. I earned my Doctorate, got a got job and moved from a very family friendly place Utah to busy as a bee New York.
In these past eight years, like many of you, I have also had my moments of joy and worry. The absolute happiness of being a mother and lots of fear that am I doing all that makes a good mother?
So what makes a mom the best mom for her kids? With my two children, I have learned a lot and realized that though all kids are different from each other but there is one common thing in all the kids, and that is they want their parents to spend time with them.
As a working mom in a very competitive environment, the most difficult thing is to get enough of time for kids. On working days, I only get two to three hours in the evening with my kids and in that time there is a lot to do. Chores, homework, dinner, bath kids and put them to bed. So how to find enough of time?
Here are few things that I feel keep my guilt away of not being able to spend enough time with my kids and help both my kids and me.
Play, play and play
With the money, you can buy them the best toys in the world. But buying toys is not sufficient. I remember when I was little my parents also used to purchase lots of toys for me. I still remember most of them but what I cherish the most is playing chess with my father and Ludo with my mother. It brings a smile on my face when my daughter asks me to dress up her doll because I remember how much fun it was when my mom used to sew clothes for my dolls. My love for badminton is all because my father used to play with me even when I grew up. So my advice to busy parents, who try to make up for the lost time and try to compensate it by buying toys for them is to pick up that doll lying in the corner, or the tea set sitting in the toys box, that board game collecting dust or even the video game and sit with your children and play with them. The time you spend playing with your kids can never go to waste.
It just breaks my heart when I see kids leaving their innocence to early. Have your ever thought why kids are becoming so mature at a young age. I would blame it on none other than parents. I have seen many parents treating their kids like mini adults.I think the best way to keep their innocence alive for as long as possible is to have fun with them, act silly sometimes and get down to their level. See the world through their eyes. It’s easier than said and do not take much time; it’s an everyday act.
Listen with an open heart
Kids have a lot to say and share, even the quiet ones. As a parent, it’s our job to sit with them and listen with an open mind. Don’t be judgmental when your kids complain about other kids or have problems with school etc. Just listen, sometimes they don’t even expect any solution from you but they just want to be hugged and heard. Even those little things like “my stuff toy are hungry”, listen to them and give them food for that hungry stuff animal. It’s these small things that matter, and they get the assurance that no matter how much busy you are but you always listen to them.
Do not lose your cool
Lose weight, lose bad habits, lose anger. There are plenty of things one can or should lose but never lose your cool in front of your kids. Many years ago I saw a movie called Baghban. In that film, there is one dialogue a grown up son says to her mother, “ I have always seen you smiling.” Last year was very stressful for me and even though I never lose my cool in front of my kids, my toddler made a frowny face and asked me one day, “Mom why you look like this sometimes”? This image is not how I want my kids to have of me. So after that I realized the importance of a smile. Now imagine how your image is downloaded in your child’s mind if you scold or shout at them or in front of them. Losing temper in front of your child is losing the precious time to make a sweet memory with them.
Losing temper in front of your children is losing the precious time to make a sweet memory with them.
So this Black Friday get the gift of time for your children, it’s the best deal not only for your kids but also for yourself.
For more ways to spend time with your kids, see my post http://muktasvision.com/trick-to-get-a-treat-of-quality-time-with-kids/ and follow me on my Facebook.